Thursday, December 8, 2011

How Much Does An Elliptical Machine Weigh?

The world really isn't built for single people. Case in point, my new elliptical machine. I've been waiting for over a year to buy this thing, and I love the machine I got, but the delivery was a comedy less of errors than of frustration. This isn't a complaint about the number of pieces, as this is one of those cases where a mechanical engineering degree comes in handy. This isn't a complaint about the features, the cost or quality of the machine. This is about how bloody heavy the thing is.

In general, it's great to have a solid, well constructed, durable machine. Until it's delivered 3 hours too early. Now, if I lived in a two income household, things like really early deliveries would be a simple negotiation of who stays home, but it's just me. If I don't work, I don't get paid and thus can't pay my bills, including paying for the new exercise toys. So, I have to be at the office regularly, and a certain shipping company doesn't seem to pay too much mind to the delivery windows that they set. The worst part of it all isn't that the machine came early, but rather that I wasn't home to let them in, so they just plunked it in my driveway. On a pallet. In the rain.

Given how well packed it is, none of the parts were damaged by the drizzle (indeed, I think some of the cardboard packaging is so dense that the Mythbusters should test it out to see if it's actually bullet proof). That's the good news. The bad news? The box weighs 300+ lbs. And it's in my driveway, not my house. Now, a reasonably fit couple could move this monstrosity into the house with some grunting, groaning and discomfort, but no real show stopping difficulties. One person alone and not a professional body builder? Just about impossible. First, I tried the "PUSH!!" method. No go (literally). Next I tried the divide and conquer technique. I did manage to pull a lot of heavy pieces out of the box, but the 200 lb base still remains. I next tried applying leverage, and did get it up one stair, but couldn't manage the next step.

Out of viable solo choices and somewhat tired, I leaned against my car to contemplate my options when my neighbor (bless him) shouts across the street to see if I need a hand. I flatter myself that the 100 lbs of assorted peddles and parts that I managed to haul in piece by piece helped a little, but the real truth is that with just me, I'd probably still be out there trying to get that thing through the door. With help, we had the base in the house in less than a minute. I am grateful for the assist, but really, it would have been so easy to deliver it on time (and I was home an hour before the delivery window was supposed to start) and avoid all the hauling and pushing and general frustration.

Oh, and as a coda - I checked the packing slip. The total weight was listed at 376 lbs. No wonder I could barely move the thing.